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07/10/2011 / butterflyexperience


I spoke to a friend yesterday who recently has gone back to work after maternity leave with her second child.  She wanted to have a bit of a moan on how she juggling it all and as her friend I can listen and empathise with her.

However I got slightly narked when she started to make noises of how much easier it is to be a SAHM having the whole day to clean the house and not actually having to ‘work’.

I’ve also read a Blog post this morning on ‘What SAHM’s do all day’, from the perspective of a woman who used to be a WOHM recently turned SAHM who has school age children, and how much time she now has on her hands.  Also being very helpful in suggesting how SAHM’s need goals and aspirations to better themselves.

Yeah because that’s how it works…

Why do some women need to have this competitive nature of how much harder their life is especially as Mothers?

We all have it tough, we all have bad days, we all have our own obstacles to over come.

Would it not be better to share our coping strategies and offer empathy for a tough day?

Being a busy, stressed, over worked Mother whether you be SAHM or WM does not make you a better person or parent.  Having an open mind, looking after your own well-being and a loving heart does.




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  1. Little Me / Oct 7 2011 8:00 am

    I want to be a SAHM. I’m going back to work in a couple of months and dreading it, but unfortunately I can’t afford not to. I don’t think one option is easier then another, but I don’t define myself by my job and haven’t done for a long time. It’s a means to an end. I’d love to be at home where I can do something worthwhile.

    • butterflyexperience / Oct 7 2011 8:16 am

      Your right, one option is not easier than another. They both come with there own set of difficulties.
      Is there something else you feel like you want to do with your life that you could fit around being sahm?

  2. clarekirkpatrick / Oct 7 2011 8:36 am

    Completely agree. Parenting’s tough however you do it – we should all be far kinder to each other!

    • butterflyexperience / Oct 7 2011 8:43 am

      Thank you for the support 🙂

  3. Average Jo / Oct 7 2011 9:22 am

    Very eloquently put, completely agree. The world would be a much nicer place for all if we were all just a little kinder to each other 🙂

    • butterflyexperience / Oct 7 2011 9:26 am

      Thank you Jo

      Kindness and compassion goes along way in my book z

  4. Jane / Oct 7 2011 10:40 am

    You are so right. Why waste energy being competitively stressed when you could spend that energy being sympathetic?

    • butterflyexperience / Oct 7 2011 11:03 am

      I agree, think many people waste energy on negativity when used the right way we can support each other

  5. A Modern Military Mother / Oct 7 2011 10:43 am

    It’s tough because women always look at each other and compare notes. Always look in and not out. It’s not that you have it easier but that she is carrying the role of two people. My husband was out with a group of lads this weekend – they looked at every woman and decided if they would shag her or not. My aunt made an interesting observation that when women go out they don’t look at men and decide whether they would shag them but instead look at other women. Women are so busy looking at each others lives that in the meantime the men are not picking up their share of the workload. IMHO

    If she isn’t flying solo perhaps she should kick her significant other into touch.

    • butterflyexperience / Oct 7 2011 11:06 am

      But why comapre ourselves negativly to each other?
      Use each other as inspiration and perhaps benchmark, but to compete is a waste of time.
      And I agree even when I go out I’m not looking at men I’m looking at women to see what they’re wearing and comparing myself to them.

      How did we as a gender learn to compete with each other so? Is it society, media or part of our gentic makeup?

      Any femenists around who may have knoweledge on the subject?

  6. mum of all trades / Oct 7 2011 11:43 am

    This post really struck a chord for me. I work 2.5 days and I know people in work all the time say to me, ‘oh off now to laze about’. Yeah right. Going into work is the easy bit, in that its paced and you usually have time for a breather. Its when we are at home, either after work or all the time that I feel its full throttle.

    • butterflyexperience / Oct 7 2011 1:06 pm

      I have friends that work part time and report something similar ‘enjoy your long weekend!’. Very disheartening.

      Seems as women we can do no right: Sahms are lazy, par time workers are lazy and aren’t committed to the job and full time workers are heartless souls who don’t care about their children.

      Think it’s time we stopped judging each others choices and realise we all have it hard.

  7. Jules / Oct 9 2011 11:11 am

    Very succinctly put. Well said.

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